You are your medicine.


Synonyms. weakness exposure fragility

I got caught up and intrigued by someone’s comment on my profile picture here on Instagram. It’s someone I have just met both in the virtual and real world. The impression was that I look like a strict/Russian woman. A prejudice or projection that offers a fertile soil for a vulnerable post, I find.

For a while now I have been busy with understanding myself, my strengths and weaknesses, blind spots. Just like you. I have been wanting to understand what the f*** is it with all the wild turns in my life and how can I time and again come back to trusting life. To trust that all that is happening is meant FOR me and not TO me. I noticed that whenever I hit a difficulty or even bottom I want myself to change, be better, more. I've noticed how this habit has created harshness in my life. And on my face. Apparently. I also came to realise that giving myself the space to reflect before I act provides much softness. If in doubt, ask my kids. They will for sure confirm that if mama gets a morning moment of silence alone she’s as sweet as honey. More than that, if I give myself the loving kindness I offer pretty much everyone else in need, it will soften me, open me to the full spectrum of being a human today - both harsh and soft, Russian and Italian.

Coming back to the comment and some level of fairness toward the observer of my harsh trait, although I was born after the Romanian revolution the soviet roughness, abuse (especially the one of women) and coldness are still imprinted in my DNA & apparel. As is the Romanian chaos disguised in the ‘spontaneity’ of life and a specific sense of humour in which making fun of myself is as juicy as laughing about my children when they fall in a clumsy way. Most importantly, I guess my parents and ancestors have lived so much in the harsh polarity of humanity that their and my thirst for the opposite is tremendous.

Long story short, here the picture in cause with some wrinkles, wisdom hairs and mama puffiness. With both signs of roughness and the hope for more gentleness. And an invitation to be softly vulnerable as it is an ability we all are born with. And in need of in these socially distanced times.

For your love of you


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